This Christmas, Part 1: What Christmas Wasn't

In reflection on the holiday, I am so pleased to present a two part run down of what Christmas was and wasn't for our family this year:

• extravagant gifts. Michael and I set a limit on our budgets. I spent $30 on a lego set for him, with which I will fill his stocking tomorrow. I don't know what he got me but I trust it is within budget.
  
• long hours shopping. We created the photobooks for our parents and Nana free online. The yarn I bought for Naomi's stocking was only $4.00. The lego were a purchase weeks ago. My brother and sister-in-law's gifts were on CDs we had at home.
  
• Increasing debt. Total spent (outside of gas) was under $100.00 for gifts for 8 people.
  
• Stressful holiday parties. My mother's side gets together several times over the month of December, while Michael's family celebrated one large party tonite. At each function, we secured a changing spot, a comfy chair, and a sling, in which to nurse and nap our baby. And we made it clear that we intended to leave early so all three of us acquired adequate rest. No guilt trips, no fuss, no drama. Simple.
  
• Polite social gatherings. Confession time: I am a wallflower. I hate get togethers with people I don't know. Fortunately Michael's workplace did not include a fancy party with expensive clothes or excessive alcohol. To some, this is sad, but instead they provided a lovely turkey dinner for their employees. Michael was pleased and I don't have to pretend to understand math and machinery. Nor does our daughter have to be fondled and cooed at by strangers. Win-win!
  
• Lavish meals or excess baking. We have never been good at the food aspect. We're more the dishwashers and less the dishmakers.
  
• commercialization. Because we avoided shopping malls, television, and modern consumerism, we have been able to keep our sights on what matters most for our family at this time of year: Jesus.
  

What about you? What wasn't your Christmas this year?

Nostalgia

I have been on a Victorian/Edwardian extravaganza the past couple weeks. Once I rediscovered the joy that can be found in audiobooks, I set aside television and websites throughout the day in order to envelope Naomi and I in the delights of classic literature. So far, I have enjoyed wonderful romances, illuminating revelations, gruelsome horrors, and delightful adventures.

Shortly after enjoying the first three volumes of the Anne of Green Gables series, I searched and found a copy of the movie series that began in the 1980s, starring Megan Follows as the precocious little red head who delighted and thrilled dusty old Avonlea, Prince Edward Island. It brought back dear, fond memories of days gone by, when my mother and I would set aside an hour of our lives on Sunday nights to watch the spin-off television series, Road to Avonlea, in which several wonderful and vivacious characters had most ordinary adventures in their beautiful home communities. The simplicity and toil of their lives, the beautiful flowing skirts and puffed sleeves, the delight in simple things, like a new crochet pattern, an elegant poem, or a delicate heirloom, all thrilled and inspired me.





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What strikes me most, I think, is the love of others that was so profound of the stories. The children's love and affection for one another; the kinsmanship and closeness of family; the connection to one's home and neightbors. Its the closeness and connection that makes these stories so illuminating. We are so easily parted and isolated. We know all of our family and friends are just a quick phone call or email away. Going to our mailboxes no longer excites us because we know the only thing inside are bills, flyers or catalogs; we no longer experience the pleasure of a lovely handwritten note from a friend. We no longer visit with family, since everyone we wish to talk to can be done so over a receiver or through our computer screens. While the convenience is lovely, the distance between individual interaction grows farther and farther apart.

I myself miss these simple pleasures, when inviting someone to tea was as important as inviting them to a party, or when being loaned a book meant you were entrusted with something dear, since such texts were mich more diffocult to acquire. Lunches were carried in baskets; handcrafts were for relaxation as well as practicality; making do was not an option, but a necessity.



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What are your thoughts? Were times better way back when? Or is the convenience of modern technology a vast improvement? Do you think our advancements have put distance between us?

Celebrating Our First Family Christmas (SPOILER ALERT -- No Family Peeking Allowed)

Naomi will be almost seven months this week. We are so excited and so blessed at the idea of celebrating this marvelous holiday with our most precious and beautiful gift from the Lord.

Our parents on both sides have come up on their retirement age and I am very happy for them all. My mother and step-father have already settled in their beautiful new home. We are excited at the prospect of Christmas dinner with them in their lovely bungalow. Next year, Mike's parents' home will be finished in the Valley and we will likely call on them over the holidays there.

After that, however, Naomi will be two and a half and we want to begin our own holiday traditions with her. As such, after these initial two years, our following Christmases will be celebrated at our own home, with just the three (possibly four by then!) of us together. Although I enjoy celebrating with our wonderful families, I am deeply eager to experience the wonder of Christmas in my daughter's eyes with ourselves at home, together.

I am also pleased to say that I have made all my gifts this year (except Mike's. It's hard to work on a gift for someone who lives in your home!). Since I know none of my family will see this before Christmas (because I know you all saw the warning in the title, right?), I will let you in on a glimpse of our Christmas list.

For both sets of parents, as well as my grandmother, we created a photobook of Naomi's first six months. For my brother, I compiled several live CDs of his favorite stand-up comic. For my sister-in-law, a season of her favorite show. For my lovely daughter, a Christmas stocking (won't be ready before Christmas though). And finally, we will be pooling money with Mike's family for a donation to a local homeless shelter instead of offering up gifts.

I will not be posting a menu this week, since we will be out visiting and enjoying the holidays throughout the week and not likely to be home every night; what's more, we will need to eat up any extra produce and anything about to go bad. Can't be wasting foods and money!

What about you? How are your holidays shaping up?

"Ordinary Arts"

A quote I am pondering today, with great inspiration:

"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest."

-- St. Thomas More

Blank Pieces of Paper

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There is something so refreshig about a plain old piece of blank paper. I do enjoy sitting down before it, so white and smooth, just begging for you to express your creativity.


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Blank paper is an opportunity to experience so much. Perhaps you have a story you'd like to record. Or an idea you don't want to forget. A list of errands, a phone number. A sketch, perhaps, of a dress you'd love to make, or your dream home? And how many little girls have filled page after page with swirly depictions of their first names, and the last names of their beaus?

A blank piece of paper can give you a chance to release. Your anger, frustration, pain, passion, love, guilt, joy, excitement! A scalding criticism, a luscious letter, a heartbreaking confession. Blank paper can be a real opportunity!


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Blank paper gives us a remarkable chance to express a part of who you are. It gives you a freedom seldom allowed us in spoken word or action. Even if it's unpleasant, it is a release and can be easily destroyed.

With technology so heavily involved in everything from our toothbrushes to our tool boxes, having an analog record of our thoughts makes us feel simpler, more relaxed. Diaries, daily planners, calendars... As easy and accessible these are on our smartphones, it's not the same as is is stuck to the fridge or hidden in a secret place, away from prying eyes.


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What about you? How do you express yourself on blank paper?

Attachment Parenting: A Testimonial

If ever I needed affirmation or example of the benefits of attachment parenting, I received it tonite.

My husband and I attended a special dinner tonite put on my our local church. It was the beginning of a new program being put on by the many volunteers at our lovely parish.

Of course, we took Naomi with us. We sat with two lovely ladies and a friendly Fanciscan brother we knew from our previous church. We have just started attending this church recently and so are quite eager to become involved.

Throughout the evening, Naomi sat in our laps. She played with toys, she snuggled with us, she smiled and giggled and shook hands with her many admirers. She ate mashed potatoes and played with a spoon (6, actually, as she kept dropping them). Manu people came up to us and said she was beautiful, lovely, a blessing. And quite a few remarked "And she's so good! My son/daughter/niece/nephew/grandchild is never so well behaved!"

Let me start by insisting that Naomi is the same as any other baby out there. She gets diaper rash. She has a fussy period in the evening. She gets frightened by the kitchen appliances. She doesn't like to sit for long periods of time. She wants mommy and cries if I'm out of sight.

So why is it that she's so good? And does that mean other babies are bad?

I have always been bothered by the phrase "a good baby". It implies that there are "bad babies", and I do not believe that is so. There are definitely babies with high needs. This does not, however, make them bad. My best friend had a high needs baby but she was one of the sweetest children I had ever met, and is so to this day.

My belief is, there is a vital and underrated factor in what makes our daughter "good". And that is her father and I. We are not goin to be held up as "Parents of the Year", nor are we to be admired or have songs written about us. We have no intentions of tooting our own horns here.

What we do, however, is the most basic and fundemental rule of any relationship: we listen.

Our daughter's cries are responded to. If she is vocalizing, we assume she is trying to tell us something. She is nursed on demand. She is put down to nap. She is changed, cuddled, carried, held, left alone, talked to, sung to, played with, helped out, and any other method of attention we can think of. Our daughter asks for our attention and we listen to her. She is not left to cry alone for longer than is absolutely necessary (say, while she is forced to sit in her car seat when we have to drive somewhere). Even in such situations, we calmly explain why it has to be thos way. Naomi knows us and trusts thay we will respond to her requests as quickly and accurately as we can.

Does that mean that we get everything right? Nope! Does that mean she only cries when she has a fixable need? Nope! Does tht mean she never gets on our nerves? Nope!

But we have made a commitment to her and ourselves, from Day 1, to do what is best for her. And for us, that meant building a strong, attached bond with Naomi so she knew she could trust us to do right by her and each other.

For us, that means breastfeeding on demand, dressing her in safe cotton clothes and unisex designs, taking her to church, reading the Bible to her, having her sit with us at meal times, bedsharing/co-sleeping, taking her to family events and social environments, responding to her cries and requests (not demands, requests), teaching her how to communicate with us, wearing her at home and outside, letting her interract with other babies, teaching her about Jesus and showing her that her parents love and care for both her and each other by showing affection (hugs, kisses, doing nice things, compliments) in front of her.

Tonite, when she started showing signs of fatigue, I put her in her carseat and rocked her slowly til she was out cold. She slept for half an hour this way, til the congregation's applause awoke her. When she started grabbing at my plate, I gave her a small spoon of mashed potatoes and let her munch on that. When she started to fidgit with boredom, I handed her toys and cooed and talked to her. When she squirmed in my lap, I passed her to Daddy. When she was restless, I put her in her sling and we walked around and rocked near the back of the room. Throughout the 2.5 hour event, she never uttered a peep.


It takes careful planning, too. We had completed the majority of our chores and I had made sure she'd had a good restful nap thoughout the day before we tried this trip. Our success was apparent in the cheerful grins and bright eyes she showed to all the others in attendance who stopped by to admire our beautiful girl.

Is being an attached parent easy? No, not always. We have had tear-filled, sleepless nights. We have had angry, frustrated rants. We have had guilty, dissappointed moments.

But the benefits? Restful sleep. Increased love and friendship. Unition of family. A cheerful, healthy baby. Oh it is so, so worth it.

Do you have any attachment testimonials? Tell me about it!

Comfort in Co-Sleeping

When I started getting sore hips from our co-sleeping arrangement, we rearranged our bed furniture to allow Naomi and I to sleep on the other side of the bed. For awhile this worked out fine. But not long after, our once easy sleeper started cranking and tossing, fussing and struggling before finally falling asleep. It might take up an hour for this.

We decided that perhaps it was time to rearrange our bed once more, but with an addition: the crib.

With a little rearrangement, we pushed the crib up against the wall, the bed up against the crib, and gave it a try.



To our absolute delight, it worked wonders. We have rearranged our nap and bedtime routines as such: After a diaper change, we put her in a sleep sack and turn on our crashing waves CD. Then we settle her in and I curl up beside her, and we quietly nurse. When Naomi has nursed enough, she simply rolls away from me and goes to sleep. Peaceful, quiet, pleasant, loving.



How about you? How do you co-sleep with your baby?

Also, for any who have encountered arguements against co-sleeping from uncooperative spouses, family members, or friends, here's an excellent article detailing the many benefits, backed up by science.

Menu Plan Monday

Unfortunately for us, this is a week thick with medical appointments. A dentist appointment, blood work, a doctor's visit, oh my!

But we will get to enjoy a visit with Grampy and with Great Nannie as well. We look forward to that!

Dec 13 - Monday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oat Bran (Breakfast)
Broccoli Soup (Lunch)
Skillet Meat Loaves (Dinner)
Leftover Potatoes (Dinner)

Dec 14 - Tuesday -- Dentist Appointment Day
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oatmeal (Breakfast)
Butternut Squash Soup (Lunch)
Roasted Chicken (Dinner)
Tossed Salad (Dinner)

Dec 15 - Wednesday -- Blood Work Appointment Day
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oat Bran (Breakfast)
Carrot Soup (Lunch)
Chicken Pizza (Dinner)
Caesar Salad (Dinner)

Dec 16 - Thursday -- Doctor Appointment Day
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oatmeal (Breakfast)
Cauliflower Soup (Lunch)
Cold Pasta Salad With Chicken (Dinner)
Tossed Salad (Dinner)

Dec 17 - Friday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oat Bran (Breakfast)
Sweet Potato Soup (Lunch)
French Fries (Dinner)
BBQ Beef Sandwiches (Dinner)

Dec 18 - Saturday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Weekend Breakfast (Breakfast)
Spaghetti (Lunch)
Dinner With Family (Dinner)

Dec 19 - Sunday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Pancakes (Breakfast)
Chicken Fingers And Fries (Lunch)
Spanish Rice (Dinner)

Simply Be Thursdays: Sidecar Cribs

We noticed recently that Little Sheep was having trouble sleeping in our family bed. Straining, rolling, flipping, growling...she seemed so uncomfortable and disrupted.

As we also shared our bed with several pool noodles acting as a bed barrier, we often found ourselves quite squished. A queen sized bed doesn't really have the space needed.

Therefore, the idea of having our crib sidecarred to our bed looked promising. Our lovely crib is a wooden Italian creation given to us by a relative who owned a baby store. We arranged it so that it squished nice and tight between our bed and the wall.




The result? Bedtime begins with a brief exploration of the crib and then a nice restful nurse, and once content, Little Sheep flops herself over and dozes away to delicious baby dreams. I in turn role over and cuddle my loving husband, knowing my dear girl will call to me when she next requires my attention.

It is a wonderful, peaceful ritual we have come to love. All three of us relax, sleep well, and enjoy our rest.

Adventures in Baby Food

Our sweet baby has been enjoying various homemade baby foods for about two weeks now. It's been so interesting to see her reactions to different tastes and textures. So far she has tasted rice cereal, butternut squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and broccoli.




We have learned some surprising things from this experience. For one, we were surprised to learn that despite their sweet and juicy consistency, berries are not her favorite food. We smiled to discover she preferred them mixed with banana and cereal. We also were secretly delighted at her love for the veggies -- the sweet potato, carrot and butternut squash have been a big hit.

Broccoli, not surprisingly,is best mixed with another vegetable, but doesn't go well on its own. And she does not like peas.

We were pleased to find Wholesome Baby Food had a cornicopia (accurate choice of words, no?) of information for us to peruse before deciding what to give Little Sheep. We have learned a lot so far and are excited to see what she will think of the next thing we give her.

Next week we will pick up some new produce. Chickpeas, lentils, peaches, pears, avacados, oh my!

To Do Tuesday -- 07/12/10 - 14/12/10

There isn't much planned outside our home this week. I plan to try some extra housecleaning and get Little Sheep comfortable with napping in her crib again, which I accidentally stopped doing (hope we didn't lose it!).

Tuesday
- morning prayers
- morning routine
- fold laundry
- 15 minutes cleaning
- bake bread
- look up how to soak lentils
- take out beef for tomorrow's supper
- peel carrots -- didn't get to before bed
- continue knitting Christmas
stocking -- Stuck on a new stitch. Get to learn something new!
- evening routine
- evening prayers
+ move crib to bedroom
+ set up sidecar crib

Wednesday
- morning prayers
- morning routine
- fold laundry
- 15 minutes cleaning
- take stock of freezer
- clean out fridge
- take out chicken for tomorrow's supper
- steam/blend/freeze green beans
- prep salad
- continue knitting Christmas
stocking
- evening routine
- evening prayers

Thursday
- morning prayers
- morning routine
- fold laundry
- 15 minutes cleaning
+ Baby Massage, then coffee with a friend
- make menu for next week
- make grocery list
- bake bread
- continue knitting Christmas
stocking
- evening routine
- evening prayers

Friday
- morning prayers
- morning routine
- fold laundry
- 15 minutes cleaning
- pay bills
- groceries/errands
- prep salad
- take out meat for Mike's lunch
- continue knitting Christmas
stocking
- evening routine
- evening prayers

Saturday
- morning prayers
- morning routine
- Mass
- fold laundry
- take out two pkgs hamburger for tomorrow's lunch and supper
- cook meat for Mike's lunch
- family Christmas party at my grandmother's
- continue knitting Christmas
stocking
- evening routine
- evening prayers

Sunday
- morning prayers
- morning routine
- fold laundry
- wash bedsheets
- finish prepping Mike's lunch
- continue knitting Christmas
stocking
- evening routine
- evening prayers

Monday
- morning prayers
- morning routine
- fold laundry
- 15 minutes cleaning
- Dentist Tomorrow! Make sure everything you need is ready!
- continue knitting Christmas
stocking
- evening routine
- evening prayers

Menu Plan Monday

Trying some new recipes this week in order to broaden our tastebuds' experiences!


Dec 06 - Monday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Sweet Potato Soup (Lunch)
Popcorn (Lunch)
Chicken Fingers And Fries (Dinner)

Dec 07 - Tuesday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oat Bran (Breakfast)
Broccoli Soup (Lunch)
Italian Wedding Soup (Dinner)
Whole Wheat Bread (Dinner)
Tossed Salad (Dinner)

Dec 08 - Wednesday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oatmeal (Breakfast)
Carrot Soup (Lunch)
Minced Beef Sandwiches (Dinner)
Caesar Salad (Dinner)

Dec 09 - Thursday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oat Bran (Breakfast)
Cauliflower Soup (Lunch)
Chicken Noodle Soup (Dinner)
Whole Wheat Bread (Dinner)

Dec 10 - Friday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Oatmeal (Breakfast)
Butternut Squash Soup (Lunch)
Supper At CostCo (Dinner)

Dec 11 - Saturday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Pancakes (Breakfast)
Spaghetti (Lunch)
Skillet Meat Loaves (Dinner)
Tossed Salad (Dinner)

Dec 12 - Sunday
Smoothie (Breakfast)
Weekend Breakfast (Breakfast)
Spanish Rice (Lunch)
Creamy Beef And Noodles (Dinner)
Caesar Salad (Dinner)

Advent Celebrations

For many years now, every weekend in December has been celebrated by my mother's family in the form of a holiday party. Each weekend one of the family members hosts a party at their home. We eat, socialize, play games, have a couple drinks (if you drink!) and enjoy each other's company.

This year is especially exciting, as it is the first year with a new baby. Everyone has been cooing and cuddling Little Sheep and she has been thoroughly enjoying having so many people to play and cuddle with.

We are so blessed, as we sip warm tea, nibble delicious treats, play rounds of Christmas trivia and Cranium, and catch up with each other while we celebrate the coming holidays. It brings great joy and knits our family closer.

Preparing for St. Nicholas Day

Visit me over at Frugal Granola today, where I'm sharing our family's thoughts on festive fun on St. Nicholas Day! I share a cheerful story and a bit of history about this much beloved saint.

The Blessed Value of Grandparents

My husband and I live within a 45 minute drive from both our parents (with exception of my father, who went Home to Jesus ten years ago). We have been very blessed to have their loving support in so many venues. My ENT scheduled an ultrasound for a cyst I have on my thyroid on the same day I had scheduled my dentist appointment. Today, of course. My daughter just turned 6 months yesterday and is an active little tike. Were it not for my lovely and nurturing mother, we would've never accomplished everything we set out to do today.

She fell asleep on our drive to the dentist. During my two hour appointment, my mother sat in the car while Little Sheep peacefully napped, then cuddled, played, walked and sang with her for another hour and a quarter until I was finished. We then made a quick trip to a local baby store where my desire for a babywearing coat was fulfilled, and then ate a quick lunch (during which Little Sheep napped again).




My ultrasound, including wait time, was again over an hour, during which my mother chirped, sang, bounced, walked, fed and otherwise entertained my daughter while I was otherwise incapacitated. She then drove us home, bundled me up on the couch, got me some tea, and let me relax awhile. It was so lovely to have her extra hands to support Little Sheep and I throughout the day. Had we not had her help, we'd surely have had to do all our errands on seperate days.




I cannot count the number of times my wonderful step-father came to pick us up and drive us somewhere for an appointment or errand. Almost all of Little Sheep's doctors appointments have been chauffered by Grampy.

On Papa Sheppard's side, Grandma and Granddad are always pitching in wonderful practical manners -- purchases of household products, food, help with repair of our vehicles, or dinners and visits. We are so lucky to have them all involved in our daughter's life, and are thankful for the loving, nurturing relationship that grows between them all and Little Sheep. Their wisdom, concern and assistance is more than appreciated, and we thank Jesus for blessing us so richly.

How about you? How have your parents blessed your family?