Dear Self,
I challenge you to cut up all your credit cards and to not make any purchases on credit and any item under $5000.
Love,
Self
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Challenge Accepted!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
This Christmas, Part 1: What Christmas Wasn't
In reflection on the holiday, I am so pleased to present a two part run down of what Christmas was and wasn't for our family this year:
What about you? What wasn't your Christmas this year?
- extravagant gifts. Michael and I set a limit on our budgets. I spent $30 on a lego set for him, with which I will fill his stocking tomorrow. I don't know what he got me but I trust it is within budget.
- long hours shopping. We created the photobooks for our parents and Nana free online. The yarn I bought for Naomi's stocking was only $4.00. The lego were a purchase weeks ago. My brother and sister-in-law's gifts were on CDs we had at home.
- Increasing debt. Total spent (outside of gas) was under $100.00 for gifts for 8 people.
- Stressful holiday parties. My mother's side gets together several times over the month of December, while Michael's family celebrated one large party tonite. At each function, we secured a changing spot, a comfy chair, and a sling, in which to nurse and nap our baby. And we made it clear that we intended to leave early so all three of us acquired adequate rest. No guilt trips, no fuss, no drama. Simple.
- Polite social gatherings. Confession time: I am a wallflower. I hate get togethers with people I don't know. Fortunately Michael's workplace did not include a fancy party with expensive clothes or excessive alcohol. To some, this is sad, but instead they provided a lovely turkey dinner for their employees. Michael was pleased and I don't have to pretend to understand math and machinery. Nor does our daughter have to be fondled and cooed at by strangers. Win-win!
- Lavish meals or excess baking. We have never been good at the food aspect. We're more the dishwashers and less the dishmakers.
- commercialization. Because we avoided shopping malls, television, and modern consumerism, we have been able to keep our sights on what matters most for our family at this time of year: Jesus.
What about you? What wasn't your Christmas this year?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Nostalgia
I have been on a Victorian/Edwardian extravaganza the past couple weeks. Once I rediscovered the joy that can be found in audiobooks, I set aside television and websites throughout the day in order to envelope Naomi and I in the delights of classic literature. So far, I have enjoyed wonderful romances, illuminating revelations, gruelsome horrors, and delightful adventures.
Shortly after enjoying the first three volumes of the Anne of Green Gables series, I searched and found a copy of the movie series that began in the 1980s, starring Megan Follows as the precocious little red head who delighted and thrilled dusty old Avonlea, Prince Edward Island. It brought back dear, fond memories of days gone by, when my mother and I would set aside an hour of our lives on Sunday nights to watch the spin-off television series, Road to Avonlea, in which several wonderful and vivacious characters had most ordinary adventures in their beautiful home communities. The simplicity and toil of their lives, the beautiful flowing skirts and puffed sleeves, the delight in simple things, like a new crochet pattern, an elegant poem, or a delicate heirloom, all thrilled and inspired me.
Photo Credit
What strikes me most, I think, is the love of others that was so profound of the stories. The children's love and affection for one another; the kinsmanship and closeness of family; the connection to one's home and neightbors. Its the closeness and connection that makes these stories so illuminating. We are so easily parted and isolated. We know all of our family and friends are just a quick phone call or email away. Going to our mailboxes no longer excites us because we know the only thing inside are bills, flyers or catalogs; we no longer experience the pleasure of a lovely handwritten note from a friend. We no longer visit with family, since everyone we wish to talk to can be done so over a receiver or through our computer screens. While the convenience is lovely, the distance between individual interaction grows farther and farther apart.
I myself miss these simple pleasures, when inviting someone to tea was as important as inviting them to a party, or when being loaned a book meant you were entrusted with something dear, since such texts were mich more diffocult to acquire. Lunches were carried in baskets; handcrafts were for relaxation as well as practicality; making do was not an option, but a necessity.
Photo Credit
What are your thoughts? Were times better way back when? Or is the convenience of modern technology a vast improvement? Do you think our advancements have put distance between us?
Shortly after enjoying the first three volumes of the Anne of Green Gables series, I searched and found a copy of the movie series that began in the 1980s, starring Megan Follows as the precocious little red head who delighted and thrilled dusty old Avonlea, Prince Edward Island. It brought back dear, fond memories of days gone by, when my mother and I would set aside an hour of our lives on Sunday nights to watch the spin-off television series, Road to Avonlea, in which several wonderful and vivacious characters had most ordinary adventures in their beautiful home communities. The simplicity and toil of their lives, the beautiful flowing skirts and puffed sleeves, the delight in simple things, like a new crochet pattern, an elegant poem, or a delicate heirloom, all thrilled and inspired me.
Photo Credit
What strikes me most, I think, is the love of others that was so profound of the stories. The children's love and affection for one another; the kinsmanship and closeness of family; the connection to one's home and neightbors. Its the closeness and connection that makes these stories so illuminating. We are so easily parted and isolated. We know all of our family and friends are just a quick phone call or email away. Going to our mailboxes no longer excites us because we know the only thing inside are bills, flyers or catalogs; we no longer experience the pleasure of a lovely handwritten note from a friend. We no longer visit with family, since everyone we wish to talk to can be done so over a receiver or through our computer screens. While the convenience is lovely, the distance between individual interaction grows farther and farther apart.
I myself miss these simple pleasures, when inviting someone to tea was as important as inviting them to a party, or when being loaned a book meant you were entrusted with something dear, since such texts were mich more diffocult to acquire. Lunches were carried in baskets; handcrafts were for relaxation as well as practicality; making do was not an option, but a necessity.
Photo Credit
What are your thoughts? Were times better way back when? Or is the convenience of modern technology a vast improvement? Do you think our advancements have put distance between us?
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Celebrating Our First Family Christmas (SPOILER ALERT -- No Family Peeking Allowed)
Naomi will be almost seven months this week. We are so excited and so blessed at the idea of celebrating this marvelous holiday with our most precious and beautiful gift from the Lord.
Our parents on both sides have come up on their retirement age and I am very happy for them all. My mother and step-father have already settled in their beautiful new home. We are excited at the prospect of Christmas dinner with them in their lovely bungalow. Next year, Mike's parents' home will be finished in the Valley and we will likely call on them over the holidays there.
After that, however, Naomi will be two and a half and we want to begin our own holiday traditions with her. As such, after these initial two years, our following Christmases will be celebrated at our own home, with just the three (possibly four by then!) of us together. Although I enjoy celebrating with our wonderful families, I am deeply eager to experience the wonder of Christmas in my daughter's eyes with ourselves at home, together.
I am also pleased to say that I have made all my gifts this year (except Mike's. It's hard to work on a gift for someone who lives in your home!). Since I know none of my family will see this before Christmas (because I know you all saw the warning in the title, right?), I will let you in on a glimpse of our Christmas list.
For both sets of parents, as well as my grandmother, we created a photobook of Naomi's first six months. For my brother, I compiled several live CDs of his favorite stand-up comic. For my sister-in-law, a season of her favorite show. For my lovely daughter, a Christmas stocking (won't be ready before Christmas though). And finally, we will be pooling money with Mike's family for a donation to a local homeless shelter instead of offering up gifts.
I will not be posting a menu this week, since we will be out visiting and enjoying the holidays throughout the week and not likely to be home every night; what's more, we will need to eat up any extra produce and anything about to go bad. Can't be wasting foods and money!
What about you? How are your holidays shaping up?
Our parents on both sides have come up on their retirement age and I am very happy for them all. My mother and step-father have already settled in their beautiful new home. We are excited at the prospect of Christmas dinner with them in their lovely bungalow. Next year, Mike's parents' home will be finished in the Valley and we will likely call on them over the holidays there.
After that, however, Naomi will be two and a half and we want to begin our own holiday traditions with her. As such, after these initial two years, our following Christmases will be celebrated at our own home, with just the three (possibly four by then!) of us together. Although I enjoy celebrating with our wonderful families, I am deeply eager to experience the wonder of Christmas in my daughter's eyes with ourselves at home, together.
I am also pleased to say that I have made all my gifts this year (except Mike's. It's hard to work on a gift for someone who lives in your home!). Since I know none of my family will see this before Christmas (because I know you all saw the warning in the title, right?), I will let you in on a glimpse of our Christmas list.
For both sets of parents, as well as my grandmother, we created a photobook of Naomi's first six months. For my brother, I compiled several live CDs of his favorite stand-up comic. For my sister-in-law, a season of her favorite show. For my lovely daughter, a Christmas stocking (won't be ready before Christmas though). And finally, we will be pooling money with Mike's family for a donation to a local homeless shelter instead of offering up gifts.
I will not be posting a menu this week, since we will be out visiting and enjoying the holidays throughout the week and not likely to be home every night; what's more, we will need to eat up any extra produce and anything about to go bad. Can't be wasting foods and money!
What about you? How are your holidays shaping up?
Friday, December 17, 2010
"Ordinary Arts"
A quote I am pondering today, with great inspiration:
"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest."
-- St. Thomas More
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Blank Pieces of Paper
Photo Credit
There is something so refreshig about a plain old piece of blank paper. I do enjoy sitting down before it, so white and smooth, just begging for you to express your creativity.
Blank paper is an opportunity to experience so much. Perhaps you have a story you'd like to record. Or an idea you don't want to forget. A list of errands, a phone number. A sketch, perhaps, of a dress you'd love to make, or your dream home? And how many little girls have filled page after page with swirly depictions of their first names, and the last names of their beaus?
A blank piece of paper can give you a chance to release. Your anger, frustration, pain, passion, love, guilt, joy, excitement! A scalding criticism, a luscious letter, a heartbreaking confession. Blank paper can be a real opportunity!
Blank paper gives us a remarkable chance to express a part of who you are. It gives you a freedom seldom allowed us in spoken word or action. Even if it's unpleasant, it is a release and can be easily destroyed.
With technology so heavily involved in everything from our toothbrushes to our tool boxes, having an analog record of our thoughts makes us feel simpler, more relaxed. Diaries, daily planners, calendars... As easy and accessible these are on our smartphones, it's not the same as is is stuck to the fridge or hidden in a secret place, away from prying eyes.
What about you? How do you express yourself on blank paper?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Attachment Parenting: A Testimonial
If ever I needed affirmation or example of the benefits of attachment parenting, I received it tonite.
My husband and I attended a special dinner tonite put on my our local church. It was the beginning of a new program being put on by the many volunteers at our lovely parish.
Of course, we took Naomi with us. We sat with two lovely ladies and a friendly Fanciscan brother we knew from our previous church. We have just started attending this church recently and so are quite eager to become involved.
Throughout the evening, Naomi sat in our laps. She played with toys, she snuggled with us, she smiled and giggled and shook hands with her many admirers. She ate mashed potatoes and played with a spoon (6, actually, as she kept dropping them). Manu people came up to us and said she was beautiful, lovely, a blessing. And quite a few remarked "And she's so good! My son/daughter/niece/nephew/grandchild is never so well behaved!"
Let me start by insisting that Naomi is the same as any other baby out there. She gets diaper rash. She has a fussy period in the evening. She gets frightened by the kitchen appliances. She doesn't like to sit for long periods of time. She wants mommy and cries if I'm out of sight.
So why is it that she's so good? And does that mean other babies are bad?
I have always been bothered by the phrase "a good baby". It implies that there are "bad babies", and I do not believe that is so. There are definitely babies with high needs. This does not, however, make them bad. My best friend had a high needs baby but she was one of the sweetest children I had ever met, and is so to this day.
My belief is, there is a vital and underrated factor in what makes our daughter "good". And that is her father and I. We are not goin to be held up as "Parents of the Year", nor are we to be admired or have songs written about us. We have no intentions of tooting our own horns here.
What we do, however, is the most basic and fundemental rule of any relationship: we listen.
Our daughter's cries are responded to. If she is vocalizing, we assume she is trying to tell us something. She is nursed on demand. She is put down to nap. She is changed, cuddled, carried, held, left alone, talked to, sung to, played with, helped out, and any other method of attention we can think of. Our daughter asks for our attention and we listen to her. She is not left to cry alone for longer than is absolutely necessary (say, while she is forced to sit in her car seat when we have to drive somewhere). Even in such situations, we calmly explain why it has to be thos way. Naomi knows us and trusts thay we will respond to her requests as quickly and accurately as we can.
Does that mean that we get everything right? Nope! Does that mean she only cries when she has a fixable need? Nope! Does tht mean she never gets on our nerves? Nope!
But we have made a commitment to her and ourselves, from Day 1, to do what is best for her. And for us, that meant building a strong, attached bond with Naomi so she knew she could trust us to do right by her and each other.
For us, that means breastfeeding on demand, dressing her in safe cotton clothes and unisex designs, taking her to church, reading the Bible to her, having her sit with us at meal times, bedsharing/co-sleeping, taking her to family events and social environments, responding to her cries and requests (not demands, requests), teaching her how to communicate with us, wearing her at home and outside, letting her interract with other babies, teaching her about Jesus and showing her that her parents love and care for both her and each other by showing affection (hugs, kisses, doing nice things, compliments) in front of her.
Tonite, when she started showing signs of fatigue, I put her in her carseat and rocked her slowly til she was out cold. She slept for half an hour this way, til the congregation's applause awoke her. When she started grabbing at my plate, I gave her a small spoon of mashed potatoes and let her munch on that. When she started to fidgit with boredom, I handed her toys and cooed and talked to her. When she squirmed in my lap, I passed her to Daddy. When she was restless, I put her in her sling and we walked around and rocked near the back of the room. Throughout the 2.5 hour event, she never uttered a peep.
It takes careful planning, too. We had completed the majority of our chores and I had made sure she'd had a good restful nap thoughout the day before we tried this trip. Our success was apparent in the cheerful grins and bright eyes she showed to all the others in attendance who stopped by to admire our beautiful girl.
Is being an attached parent easy? No, not always. We have had tear-filled, sleepless nights. We have had angry, frustrated rants. We have had guilty, dissappointed moments.
But the benefits? Restful sleep. Increased love and friendship. Unition of family. A cheerful, healthy baby. Oh it is so, so worth it.
Do you have any attachment testimonials? Tell me about it!
My husband and I attended a special dinner tonite put on my our local church. It was the beginning of a new program being put on by the many volunteers at our lovely parish.
Of course, we took Naomi with us. We sat with two lovely ladies and a friendly Fanciscan brother we knew from our previous church. We have just started attending this church recently and so are quite eager to become involved.
Throughout the evening, Naomi sat in our laps. She played with toys, she snuggled with us, she smiled and giggled and shook hands with her many admirers. She ate mashed potatoes and played with a spoon (6, actually, as she kept dropping them). Manu people came up to us and said she was beautiful, lovely, a blessing. And quite a few remarked "And she's so good! My son/daughter/niece/nephew/grandchild is never so well behaved!"
Let me start by insisting that Naomi is the same as any other baby out there. She gets diaper rash. She has a fussy period in the evening. She gets frightened by the kitchen appliances. She doesn't like to sit for long periods of time. She wants mommy and cries if I'm out of sight.
So why is it that she's so good? And does that mean other babies are bad?
I have always been bothered by the phrase "a good baby". It implies that there are "bad babies", and I do not believe that is so. There are definitely babies with high needs. This does not, however, make them bad. My best friend had a high needs baby but she was one of the sweetest children I had ever met, and is so to this day.
My belief is, there is a vital and underrated factor in what makes our daughter "good". And that is her father and I. We are not goin to be held up as "Parents of the Year", nor are we to be admired or have songs written about us. We have no intentions of tooting our own horns here.
What we do, however, is the most basic and fundemental rule of any relationship: we listen.
Our daughter's cries are responded to. If she is vocalizing, we assume she is trying to tell us something. She is nursed on demand. She is put down to nap. She is changed, cuddled, carried, held, left alone, talked to, sung to, played with, helped out, and any other method of attention we can think of. Our daughter asks for our attention and we listen to her. She is not left to cry alone for longer than is absolutely necessary (say, while she is forced to sit in her car seat when we have to drive somewhere). Even in such situations, we calmly explain why it has to be thos way. Naomi knows us and trusts thay we will respond to her requests as quickly and accurately as we can.
Does that mean that we get everything right? Nope! Does that mean she only cries when she has a fixable need? Nope! Does tht mean she never gets on our nerves? Nope!
But we have made a commitment to her and ourselves, from Day 1, to do what is best for her. And for us, that meant building a strong, attached bond with Naomi so she knew she could trust us to do right by her and each other.
For us, that means breastfeeding on demand, dressing her in safe cotton clothes and unisex designs, taking her to church, reading the Bible to her, having her sit with us at meal times, bedsharing/co-sleeping, taking her to family events and social environments, responding to her cries and requests (not demands, requests), teaching her how to communicate with us, wearing her at home and outside, letting her interract with other babies, teaching her about Jesus and showing her that her parents love and care for both her and each other by showing affection (hugs, kisses, doing nice things, compliments) in front of her.
Tonite, when she started showing signs of fatigue, I put her in her carseat and rocked her slowly til she was out cold. She slept for half an hour this way, til the congregation's applause awoke her. When she started grabbing at my plate, I gave her a small spoon of mashed potatoes and let her munch on that. When she started to fidgit with boredom, I handed her toys and cooed and talked to her. When she squirmed in my lap, I passed her to Daddy. When she was restless, I put her in her sling and we walked around and rocked near the back of the room. Throughout the 2.5 hour event, she never uttered a peep.
It takes careful planning, too. We had completed the majority of our chores and I had made sure she'd had a good restful nap thoughout the day before we tried this trip. Our success was apparent in the cheerful grins and bright eyes she showed to all the others in attendance who stopped by to admire our beautiful girl.
Is being an attached parent easy? No, not always. We have had tear-filled, sleepless nights. We have had angry, frustrated rants. We have had guilty, dissappointed moments.
But the benefits? Restful sleep. Increased love and friendship. Unition of family. A cheerful, healthy baby. Oh it is so, so worth it.
Do you have any attachment testimonials? Tell me about it!
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